Coping Mechanisms

Divorce is challenging; it is not easy at any age. However, there are many coping skills that you can learn and implement into your daily life.

Talk To Others About What You Are Feeling

A boy and girl's silhouettes with different emotions and feelings written on them

There are many emotions that you felt, are feeling, or may feel surrounding these new situations. All of these emotions are normal and ok for you to be feeling. Don’t bottle up these emotions and keep them to yourself, make sure to talk and express them in safe and constructive ways.  These can include:

  • Sitting down and talking to your parents, especially about how they can help you
  • Talking to a friend
  • Going to see a therapist or school counselor
  • Joining a support group with other kids going through similar experiences

Start a Journal

A notebook and pen across in a diagonal fashion

If you have a difficult time talking to your parents, families, or friends, you can start a journal. A journal is a great place to write down your thoughts, emotions, and struggles. A journal can help you start to communicate and reduce stress and anxiety. 

Keep Your Routines Normal

An analog clock readsa the time 2:34

Routines and schedules will change. To help with these changes, try to keep the routines you have control over similar to how they were before.  Keeping some consistency in your life can make new routines easier to adjust to.

Take Care of Yourself

A silhouette of a person in a hammock reading a book with a dog below him

Even though this new situation might not make you feel the greatest, keep taking care of your mental and physical health. Go outside, hang out with your friends, go to the movies, play video games, read a book. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, take some time for yourself.

Remember That It’s Not Your Fault

A women with dark hair embracing a young lady with blonde hair

Your parents divorced each other, not you. Your parents had some disagreements and decided that they did not want to be married anymore. They still love you and will continue to love you. You are not to blame for your parents’ divorce.

What Are Boundaries and Why are They Important?

A man and a women arguing in front of a fence

Boundaries are important. After divorce, you might have to set boundaries with your parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, schoolmates, and/or your step-family. Boundaries are how people know how to treat you and behave around you. They help develop and enhance relationships. Setting boundaries can be difficult because it might feel like you are being rude or pushing people out of your life. Setting boundaries help everyone involved in a relationship or in a family. People wanted to be respected, loved, happy, and should be expected to act in the same way. No one can understand what makes you uncomfortable, awkward, or upset unless you tell them. It can be scary or weird at first, but there are many steps and tips that you can follow to help. 

How to Set Boundaries

Picture of boundaries button
  1. Decide what your boundaries are
  2. Talk to a therapist (if you want) to go over your boundaries and for further advice
  3. Understand that your needs are important and that you should be loved
  4. Practice telling people your boundaries
  5. Be firm yet kind
  6. If you need to, walk away
  7. Put in place consequences if people don’t respect your boundaries
  8. Follow your boundaries and adjust or add to them as needed